so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize