I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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