24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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