i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
