every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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