Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
