I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
