Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
