The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
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In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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