didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
