I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
