You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
