dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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