I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
