Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
