what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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