I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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