P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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