wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
