I'm jealous of your bromance
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize