He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
farters have to be the big spoon...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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