Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
