I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
