Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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