I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
