Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish my penis had an off switch
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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