oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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