Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
