She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
