Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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