So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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