next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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