you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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