i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
