What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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