It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Farmville is her only friend.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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