I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
