ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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