saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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