I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
