that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
