so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
