I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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