I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
