I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
