I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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