Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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