woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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