I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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