We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
