ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
