Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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