Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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