apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
