dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
