its not stalking. its research.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
