he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
