Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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