so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize