you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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