I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
