The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize